I feel lik...No. I want. I want to make a beeline to the wall and knock my head on it until I feel good. I want to turn my hands into fists and beat myself up until black and blue, until I'm guilt-free. But, I only want, I'm not taking the bull by the horns. I'm a little Jerry. Well, of course Jerry the mouse braver than me.
I want to shout at everyone who ever mentioned "Queensbay! Queensbay! Queensbay Your Highness!" Especially YOU, it was YOU! YOU were the one who said I always locked myself up in the palace, keep myself up day and night, bury my head in the mountain high books. YOU, YOU said I'd detached myself with the outside world. YOU always blamed me, accused me without knowing much about me. Because of YOU, now I have to blame myself on how little my effort worth. Because of YOU, my determination got swayed, my goals became ambiguous.
Now I really blame these all on YOU. I'll never, ever befriend you. YOU dragged me down, when I should be climbing up to top. But because of YOUR distractions, I fell into your trap. I should have known since the first sign, if only I able to identify it.
Soon, I'll have to face it. I'll have to pay the price. But it won't be too long that I'll make redemption. To repent. To get myself back on track and work towards my goals. My so-called ambition.