It's been odd. I have a scary thought lately.
Dad looks old.
My gut of looking on his face becomes diminishing each day. It would remind me how old he looks. Especially his aging eyes. The dramatic, sad and crying scenes in the series which I caught over the years would pop up in my mind.
I could not bring myself to face the idea. I started to imagine the worst. I feel like I am preparing myself for the inevitable. Something messy. Something will only bring emotional-tortured.
An outburst.
The black figure with hood who responsible for the ride. The dead ride. The Death.
He hits 60. Or is it 61? Is no way of looking that old. Dad looks younger than that to most people.
Not his well-being though.
Externally, he looks taller, lean but tougher. A strong man. Internally, he is accumulating toxic. Is life-threatening.
I will only keep asking myself what to do. What to do. What to do. Gone. Gone now.
I am preparing myself. Or. I am not preparing myself. Somehow.
God bless his soul. Please.