Two weeks before that, Lyan came home with her highlight of the day. Gleefully sharing a cheese cake recipe she had copied from her supervisor. Said she is going to make it on Father's Day. She did mention she had promised to share some of the pieces with her colleagues as well at the office. I thought it was not fair.
I was not sure if dad knew at the beginning. But he seems to be happy with the idea and anticipated in the celebration ahead of him.
Until last night...
I called out to everybody in the house to gather in the kitchen to taste some of Lyan's cheese cake she had ever made. When dad came in, I reminded everyone do not devour it all, cause Lyan is going to share some with her colleagues. Dad was like "What?!" I could feel how disappointed and upsetting in his tone of voice. After all, I realized this was his first Father's Day since he came home working from overseas since God knows how long.
Nonetheless, dad was the one who took the first cut of the cake. He started off by cutting in the middle of the cake. Row by row he cut through. I was not sure how hard the cake was, but dad seems to exert much of his energy and pressure I thought the plastic knife would broke in two.
After he finished, I think he dug up a piece on purpose and messed up the edge of the cake at one end, saying "What on earth is this? What cake is this, so damn stiff?"
This time, I felt frustration and anger in his tone. I guessed he was upset because the cake was not whole-hearted specially made for him. So I informed him that this was the first time Lyan made the cake, she was inexperienced.
He took what I said and began his bite.
We missed Father's Day so many years now, every year. Simply because dad never homed whenever the special day around the corner during his work overseas. During those years, I felt how insignificant day it was without his presence. When I think back, I realized how happy he was, and I had missed it as well this time. I had wished how I should have been the one who ought to make that chocolate brownie. At least I had made it twice myself.