I don't remember the last time a person and false hope that I encountered. But this time it struck me pretty clearly.
I hardly seek for anyone, except when I truly desperate or the situation almost cannot be revived. I don't ask, I also don't wait for people to offer me. Until I was being offered and given choices, I snap and snap without question. When I snap, I feel like I was given chance, hope. And when you have hope, you pretty much praying hard for it.
Except it isn't.
It's like you have given up life. Your last will to live has been broken and you cannot trust anyone but yourself.
I trust my own independence. I guess that makes my inadequacy at depending on somebody. I'm not good at depending on anyone else because I don't trust easily, or maybe it's insecurity.
When you depend on somebody, there will be either dramas or conflict which I always try to avoid. They are mostly a waste of time than investing on your own independence, which will reward yourself much better in any way.
But I guess it hurts more when your most loved one gives you false hope. Someone you thought you can count on.
Anyway, it's material. No biggie.
