Price of Inexperience

I wasn't really good at it, and I'm still learning. All I need is some time. But my time is running out.

Still, I can see myself improving, that's the biggest relief for me and recognize myself that I have room for improvement. But time is running against me. My flaws have covered up all the hard work and dedication. I only learned through trial and errors. Every one mistake that I made, every one lesson learned. No one give me chance and time to improve.

Money can't really buy experiences. I earned it myself with my own hands and sweats. Knowing myself that I work with the heart and mind, I learned a lot though the time has been too short.

Trying to look on the bright side. I'm doing pretty good so far. No one, and nothing could bring me down. Just like every cloud has a silver lining. This is just the micro part of my life, life moves on, so no need to dwell on it.

No matter what, I value the experience. If I never done good enough, please forgive my inadequacies.

Thank you for taking me. Glad to know every one of you too.

Books

Thought I'd post this on my shelf, but thinking here would be more straightforward. Anyway...

Current reading - psychology. Can't wait to finish it.

Next reading - fiction...and erotic.

Next reading is going to be sooOOO super-duber, awesomely EXCITING, WILD and...ECSTATIC. This is going to be as good as the comments and plots it gets.

They SERIOUSLY going to start a film of it? Definitely don't want to miss it. Whoa!

Can't wait to start.

Rrrrrgh...

Sturdy Guy

Finally. It only took 2 days. Yay!!

Cheap. And it's going to be my spare.

Multiracial Advantage

I always hear foreign celebrities and TV hosts alike said how lucky Malaysians are. That we live in food paradise with tropical weather. And lately I heard Cesar Milan commercial, said how lucky we are in Asia, because that's where the dogs origin.

Indeed. Apart from that, I remind myself that I'm lucky to be born in a melting pot, where I also become a trilingual. Not that I know any Tamil, but Malaysia at least recognize a second language which is the lingua franca English, unlike Japan or Korea. The most grateful thing is that I able to master well in English and Chinese. Have the luck to expose myself to those influencing cultures.

I always imagine it's quite beneficial thing. To try to fantasize how I'd write a book, which has all the ideas get cross over from different cultures, to bring out something novel.

Watch out, that might be my milestone.

Anyway, I haven't been listening to Malay song for so long since I can't remember. Well, below is my favorite which I got the chance to come across while working at the cafe. The MV was dull and sound was a bit guttural here. Hope you like it.

Mandarin and Whatnot

"Budak Cina ni cakap shor..." (This Chinese kid said shor ("short", my style of writing = =')... )

Lately, I've been trying 200% to be color-blind. I treat every staff as equal (which I always do) as I see human beings and to blind myself to stereotypes. I'm proud of myself so far. Though there are times when passers-by cast me a you-work-with-the-Malay-people questioning look on their faces. And so I thought.

Despite of that, I'm a word-sensitive. The opening statement literally carry some weight of racism. If only you could treat me as Malaysian, I wouldn't be hearing that statement blurted out in front of my face. I don't mind being laughed at with my Sabahan Malay dialect, or at my Malay sentences that bear some Mandarin accent.

Because I understand ignorant people. Encountering them, I particularly better off to save energy, and laugh along.

For some reasons, I miss Penang, I miss uni life. Maybe I just miss the island where we spent time. And you've been to my school. I just miss my room, the little private space I'll never own and not belong to me. Back to that routine I'll only gain more discipline being morning person, and well spend me time. Gosh, I really know how to treasure my me time.